Electric Boogaloo: The Wild Untold Story Of Cannon Films(2014): Review

I saw Electric Boogaloo: The Wild Untold Story Of Cannon Films finally last night, and it was bittersweet. At first after I watched it I liked it. But after sleeping on it and doing my own research on Cannon and their library I came away with a completely different opinion on it, which can be summed up in two words.

Not Satisfied.

Why? Because ironically enough this film is not a love letter to Cannon films. It is instead an exploitation movie. And that is not what I expected at all. And for a documentary? It kinda sucks at it's job. If you are a fan of Cannon films? You already know about 90 percent of the history the film is telling you. You really don't learn much of anything new other than wild and crazy stories about the Golans or crazy on the set tales. Other than that? It offers a drive by history of the company for the curious and the people who are unfamiliar.

Also there is a disturbing amount of shit talking about Cannon in this documentary. Hence why I called it an exploitation film. So many bitter haters having their bitter thoughts about the company recorded and shown for all the world to see. Some of them? I can't blame them for feeling that way. Others? Sounded like they had grudges. This kind of thing would not be so bad if it was balanced out. But in this film it most certainly is not. There is a considerable shortage of positivity for Cannon films and the Golans. Also there is no presence of genuine passion for the company behind the camera. No interviews with die hard fans or anything. The whole documentary seemed at times to just be an excuse to milk Cannon films for outrageous stories than anything else. And the outrageous stories are fun, and they are genuinely hilarious. But they alone cannot carry the film.

This documentary also glosses over so much of the company's film library and it's stars. Michael Dudikoff is interviewed but he only has maybe 2 minutes at best of screen time. Alex Winters has more and he was an extra in Death Wish 3 for fuck's sake. You have the American Ninja and you only give him less than two minutes of screen time? Shame on you Nick Hartley. Shame. It completely misses talking about some of the infamous unproduced Cannon films like Spider-Man. I am sorry a quick flash of the poster does not count in my book. Big missed opportunity there. They don't even talk about the last film produced by Cannon either. Or their time in the direct to video era.

This film was an incomplete history of Cannon that further solidifies my theory that filmmaker's intention from the start was to make a Cannon films exploitation movie. It lacked a heart. It had it at points at the start but then it just started an avalanche of Cannon blasting that got very tiresome after awhile. It even shit talked the logo for chrissakes. Entertaining at points documentary but ultimately an unsatisfying biased piece of exploitation.
**1/2

American Gods: The Final Chapter

 

What a letdown. Man was this ending disappointing. If the lackluster final battle wasn't enough, the story ends with a whimper rather than a bang. I was afraid of this the most. Usually if a book is this long it has some lame ass ending. And what do you know? This had the same problem too. This is just from personal experience though. Maybe I need to read better books? 

The way this ended at least for me just did not make the long journey it took to read this book worth it in the end. All of this build up, all of this fanfare, all of this originality and twisting of genre conventions for an open ended and lame conclusion. The only way it could have ended worse for me was if it ended with a sequel bait denouement.

So why do I think the ending sucks so much? Here is why.

The whole subplot about bringing Laura back to life at any cost? Not mentioned again throughout the book and really could have ended the story with a nice bow and would have been a lot more appealing. Plus the whole reason and truth behind the kid stealing plotline I thought was lame. So this guy or god Hinzemann protects the town by taking its children and killing them? What the hell? Who the hell would make that deal? What are these townspople deaf and dumb? I don't care if it is a god. I am not sacrificng my kid so my town can be safe. This whole plot point was just really ridiculous to me, even for a novel about living gods in the USA. I frankly felt it was ludicrious and a really lame conclusion to that part of the story. Shadow's anti climatic defeat of the God didn't help matters much either. 

Then came even more unnecessary plot points that seemed to have been drawn out of thin air much like Sweeney's coins in his coin trick. Multiple incarnations of Odin? Gaiman just got lazy there. What? No new god? Just another version of Odin? Really, really lame dude. And then the whole novel ends with Shadow doing a coin trick for this second Odin? Really? That's it?

Over 500 pages and that is what you are rewarded with for your troubles? A lame ass final battle that left absolutely zero impact on me, a lame reveal of the missing children storyline's true motivations, and a coin trick for an ending for the audience of another Odin who showed up out of freaking nowhere? 

Shame on you Neil Gaiman. Shame on you.

This was a boring limp ending to a rather boring and dull book. It wasn't completely pointless, at the end of the day I was glad I read it once for some really clever interpretations and uses of gods and goddesses but the story failed in its execution. Especially the ending. Which really just kinda stops. That's it. Shadow does a coin trick and heads down a hill. No resolution, no lessons learned, no nothing. At least this is how I interpereted it anyway. Overall would I recommend this book? Not really. Only for die hard Neil Gaiman fans and people who are deeply interested into Mythology. But for the everyday reader? Nope. Too long, too dull, and it has a shitty ending that really doesn't make all the 500 pages or so worth reading in the first place.

Remembering Willow

I absolutely adore Willow. Screw the Lord Of The Rings, Willow is the real masterpeice of fantasy filmmaking. I think why I love this movie so much is because it is associated with my childhood so much it has become a part of me. A part of my spirit, my essence. I never understood why this bombed so badly when it came out and why people don't talk about in the same high regard as George Lucas's other productions like the Star Wars Trilogy. I think the accusations that Willow is just a Star Wars rip off are unfair. Star Wars itself isn't even uniquely original. It borrowed elements from so many other movies it would take a full length essay to list them all. Just because Willow wasn't one hundred percent original doesn't mean it was a bad film.

In 1988 Willow had everything you could ask for a good time at the movies. A great story, a unique approach, excellent special effects by ILM, a grand scale, a rollicking score, a thrilling pace, plenty of humor and more importantly a sense of fun about the proceedings. It didn't take itself so damn seriously like LOTR did. Which is in large part why I love it so much. The film is just so lovable. From the characters to the effects to the score to world it creates it is just so captivating and wonderful to watch. You want to be a part of this world and walk around and experience it for yourself. You want to go on a grand adventure with Madmartigan and Willow Ufgood on a battle against Queen Bavmorda and the forces of evil. It has a saturday morning feeling to it that just places you back in the time of captain crunch cereal and reruns of Masters Of The Universe. I think that saturday morning feeling it gives me though isn't felt by everyone though. Some of us didn't get to experience this magical adventure when they were young so they don't have such fond memories associated with it. Hence why they don't care so much about Willow.

I remember watching Willow so many times on VHS that the tape got worn out and my parents had to buy a new one. I know the film like the back of my own hand. I can quote dialogue along with the film, I am a Willow fan, and a big one too. I have the VHS, the Laserdisc, the DVD and The Blu Ray. I have the poster magazine from 1988, I have not one but two copies of the comic adaptation one in black and white and one in color, I also have the novelization which I read so many times the spine is worn out. If I could walk around town with a Willow T Shirt I would, but for some reason there aren't any I can find for sale anywhere. Because Willow for some reason is a cult film. One of those movies that if you watched it like I did as a kid religiously you have devoloped a taste for it. I think there are a lot of people that appreciate it now but not as many that love the film to death like I do. Where are the Willow conventions? The Willow fan films? Maybe they exist but they sure don't get advertised all that much. Probably because sadly the movie made next to nothing when it came out and was considered by many to be one Lucasfilm's greatest failures. I swear to god Howard The Duck got talked about more in the 80's than Willow did. I happen to like that film too but the point is still rather ridiculous. One of the worst movies of the 80's gets more pub than one of the best fantasy flicks of all time? What the fuck?

Who talks about Willow nowadays? Go on the internet and you will find a few fansites here and there, and a handful of reviews on you tube but in the end not much. And for a big fan of Willow that really saddens me. It seems much like the film did in 1988 it has gotten lost in the shuffle. This film is great. I don't care what anyone says. No film can make me feel like a kid again as much as Willow does. I still feel the same exact way that I felt watching the film for the first time when I was eight. A sense of wonder and awe at the sheer spectacle of the film, a sense of fear of the evil queen. Especially the scene where she turns Willow and his friends into pigs. That scene still freaks me out til this day. Excellent make up effects. And the two headed dragon is still bad ass. The stop motion may look a little dated now but it is a hell of a lot better than CGI in my book. And no end fight between a hero and a villain has made me cheer as much as the final battle between Madmartigan and General Kael. I loved the look of General Kael too. I mean he has a fucking skull helmet. Darth Vader is a pussy compared to General Kael.

If you see this coming for you? You are already dead.

 

That final fight like I said earlier was just so bad ass. Early in the film Madmartigan was dressing in drag and cracking jokes and being a big goof but as soon as he lays that memorable strike that knocks the jaw clean off of Kael's skully face Madmartigan is truly the greatest swordsman that ever lived. Then he stabs him in the chest with two swords and he is a god. So epic. A perfect finale to such an epic film. 

 

 

Sure there are plenty of other great moments that I remember from the film, like the thrilling shield sled sequence, the beautiful scenes with the fairies in the woods, the hilarious expressions baby Elora makes, the romantic trysts between Sorsha and Madmartigan, the dragon fight, the final fight with Bavmorda just to name a few. I am sure there are even more great moments I forgot to mention. 

Willow is one of the greatest movies of all time in my book, and no one can tell me different. My pick for my favorite fantasy movie of all time. It might have flaws but I don't care to see them or care about them. To me Willow is a perfect film, and exactly what I look for in a movie. If you haven't seen it yet, you are missing out on quite the adventure.

American Gods Part Trois

Well the whole pointlessness I mentioned earlier that I feared the novel would continue to do? Well it stopped doing that. Well kinda of anyway. There were a few moments here and there I thought were kinda of lame but other than that I slogged through this chunk of the novel with not too many bumps in the road.

I actually found this part to be the most interesting. Things really started to kick into gear in regards to the overall point of the novel and more importantly it became more focused and hooked me with a pretty ballsy series of plot points. For one the plot involving a bunch of missing kids was rather dark but oddly appealing to me. I for one like stories that have the balls to talk about kids in danger or kids being killed. Not because I am a psychopath. Far from it. It just makes for a more thrilling story the fact that no one is immune or spared from the danger in the tale. Everyone's lives are at stake here. The men, the women, and the children. It really makes the events of the novel have even more impact. Think about it. What is one of the most horrifying things imaginable? The death of a child. The tragedy of the situation hits home to all of us.

In this part of the novel it also continued to bring in even more gods and regonizable names from literature and fables. Johnny Appleseed makes an appearance as well as the god of Easter. And no it isn't the easter bunny. I liked that Gaiman did not take that approach. There are things about this tale that could be considered silly but nothing as ludicrous as a talking easter bunny. Talking crows, but hey I saw that in Willow and I love that movie so it's ok.

The one twist in the plot I did not see coming though was the death of Mr. Wednsday. That was quite a shock. And the fact that this leads to a battle between the old gods and the new is a really exciting turn of events. It was at this point in the novel where the term "a storm is coming" which was repeated ad nasuem throughout the novel up to this point started to make sense and because of that became a great example of clever foreshadowing.

At this point in the novel too is where the fantasy elements of the story really started to come to a head. There were moments earlier like talking birds, a ravenous sex starved cat woman and other fantastic beasts, creatures, dead women, and gods but here it really started to click. I think the whole mentioning of Loki and Odin which are some of the most familiar gods helped with this matter. But maybe that's because I saw Thor recently and I had that flick on my brain.

There are many more surprising revelations in this block of the novel like Shadow being Wednsday's son for instance. That really came out of left field. But it also explained why someone of great power would select some ex con to help him rather than another god so to speak. Because Shadow really was a god. A god in hiding so to speak. Finding out the true nature of Mr. Wednsday and the fact that he is Shadow's father really made the death of Wednsday even more powerful.

The sacrifice that Shadow makes to help the win the war is also quite compelling, and the visual imagery of the land of the dead was striking and quite horrifying. Overall I like where this story is leading, but if I had any issue? It is almost too descriptive and detailed. It is easy to get lost in the story and as a result lose interest real fast. And the final battle? Really wasn't that epic at all. Especially for a battle between the gods. I know Gaiman is trying to ground this tale in reality, but if there was ever a time to go over the top it would be here. I hope the ending makes up for it but I was glad I read it once though. Some really powerful imagery.

Staying on the killing kids angle..To further illustrate why this is so crucial to a story's impact I wanted to share this scene from the underrated 1988 remake of The Blob.(Since I can't find the scene by itself here is a compliation of all of the death scenes. You will know it when you see it though)

La Jetee

What a visually stunning short film this is. Do I find it particularly great? Yes and no. I think it is a bit of both. Great and also not so great. The visuals, the way it is edited, and the atmosphere are all fantastic and some of the most arresting imagery I have seen in film. I mean the filmmaker took something as banal as welder's goggles and made them look like the embodiment of evil. Plus almost the entire movie is made out of still pictures that fade in or ease in or out at different intervals and speeds. It is honestly more of a slideshow than an actual film. But there is one scene where it breaks this trend and creates a really vivid and surprising image with a dreamlike quality when the scene of the woman comes to life for a split second. The themes, the ideas, even the way the film is shot and edited are simply brilliant. 

But if all of those elements work so well, why is the film not one of the greatest masterpieces of cinema? Well, in all honesty it is a dull slog to sit through. Sure it looks pretty but it is not a particularly entertaining movie to watch. It feels dated at points, the narrator sounds like a pretentious ass and the whole idea of black and white pictures telling the story makes the experience of watching La Jetee more like watching a slideshow during health class back in the days when slide projectors were still the preferred method of teaching.

Now I could deal with how boring with movie is and still call the film a masterpiece in the long run. But for me what hurts the film the most is also what many feel is its calling card and its biggest strength. The whole pointlessness of it all is really frustrating. 

Why is it pointless? 

Let me elaborate why I feel that ultimately this short film is a complete waste of time. The narrator is untrustworthy. You cannot trust what he says because in the end nothing is ever resolved or clarified for the audience watching the movie. It is nothing but speculation.  There is no proof that there ever was a WWIII or that our protagonist even went back in time. This is what makes the narrator in many ways a complete liar. This movie is playing a trick on its audience. And for a first time watcher it may make an impact, like it did for Christopher Nolan who is one of the film's biggest fans. Which probably inspired the spinning top ending of his film Inception which I hated with a passion. 

But for me personally? This pretty looking movie that ultimately is nothing but a bunch of speculation, with a narrator who is full of it and characters that may or may not even exist is not brilliant. To me it is ridiculous and is a poor film. If any other film used this template of a movie that has no point in the end because nothing is proven to be fact or fiction it would get drawn and quartered by critics til the end of time. But since it is black and white, narrated by a french guy and is "experimental" it is a defining moment in cinema. I am sorry, but I call bullshit on that. This is about as defining as an episode of the Twilight Zone. As a matter of a fact there are episodes of The Twilight Zone that are better, more entertaining, and actually have a point. I find this to be one of the most overrated films of all time. It looks great. It does a good job with it's visuals. But then again John Carter looked pretty too. And that movie was a steaming pile of crap. This has no ending, and is a boring film to watch. Why the hell would I ever want to watch this again? It literally has nothing to offer other than some really good visuals.

I understand why people like it though, and why pretentious film snobs praise this as one of the medium's finest works. Because it appeals to that side of the critic, the side that pats their own egos on the back. Since it is left up to interperetation you can be as pretentious as you could ever dream to be regarding the overall meaning of the film, and turn up your snobby noses at people like me who think it is a waste of fucking time.

So in conclusion, La Jetee is a beautifully made film but its structure is horrid and is not revolutionary at all. A story that has a lying narrator and no definable ending? That isn't even a story let alone a film. I hate to think what an entire movie would look like if it followed this movie's template. I probably would have never been able to finish the film since I would have been asleep.

If I want to see this plot done that makes some semblance of sense I will watch 12 Monkeys again. That film at least has a good story to go along with its grand visuals. And it also has the benefit of Bruce Willis. Anything is better with some Bruce Willis. He made the ridiculous as hell flick Hudson Hawk a fun time, he can make anything better and more watchable by default. 

So yeah, not a fan of boring pretty looking pointless art flicks like La Jetee. It is like that dumbass piece of art where a guy just erased a painting and put the blank erased piece of paper in a frame and called it art and made millions. That was an empty frame holding nothing just like La Jetee.

Nausicaa: Of The Valley Of The Wind

I for one have always known that a well written comic book could be a fine alternative to the novel, and Nausicaa is no exception. As soon as I could figure out the right way to read the japanese comic I found myself lost in the world it created instantaneously. This was a fun, thrilling read.

Nausicaa has some really fantastic vivid imagery throughout it's black and white pages. And yes you heard that right, the whole comic is black and white not in color. And it really doesn't effect the overall enjoyment as much as you might think. It doesn't need bright and pretty colors to grab your attention the idea and the story it tells is interesting and entertaining enough by itself.

The story at least in volume one anyway, centers on a princess named Nausicaa who is said to have this great power, and is the only one that can save this world that has become polluted and infested with giant insects that mutated because of man's insistence of trashing the planet it lives on. At its core Nausicaa is a tale of the costs of pollution. By polluting the earth with chemicals and trash mankind has destroyed the plants and killed the birds which is a sobering future that really isn't that far fetched when you think about it. Now giant killer mutant insects? Yeah, that is definitely a fantasyland creation. But the killer insects really add to the intrigue and excitement of the tale since they are in a lot of exciting sequences which I am sure looked fantastic on film, and one of these days I will sit my butt down and watch the film adaptation of this manga.

Since I am an action guy, my favorite parts of this volume were it's action scenes. Specifically the scenes with the flying gunships. I loved the way the gunships were designed too. They literally were ships that had the front of the barrel of a gun as part of their design. It was a very clever design choice. Also the way the artist draws these scenes with so much speed, fluidity and motion really made these scenes come alive and at points read like they were going to fly off the page and start battling the giant insects in the middle of your living room.

This was only volume one of a multi volume series, and my curiosity has been piqued and I already want more. I can see why so many people love this series, the film and what they represent. The originality, and the uniqueness of it all is something you rarely see in american publications let alone back when it was originally published but even now to this day. There is a sincerity to it that just pulls the reader's heartstrings, and it has plenty of action to win over the most jaded adrenaline junkie. Even if it isn't what you would call your cup of tea? I recommend giving Nausicaa a look. Whether you end up liking it or not it is without a doubt a unique experience.

Speaking of american pulbications..Back when the animated feature film version was created and released in japan uncut? The US decided the original version didn't cut it, and took a butcher knife and destroyed the original version and created the abomination that was Warriors Of The Wind.

 

 Gotta love that Star Trek II: Wrath Of Kahn font. So 80's.

Above is the trailer. Again So 80's.

Pryia Sharma-Rag & Bone

 "I am a person, not a piece of meat."

This was quite the captivating tale. It really was a wonderful showcase for a bleak and brutal future where the rich continue to get richer and with important everyday resources like food, water, and other everyday necessities we take for granted dwindling every day, new alternatives have arisen in their place. Since food is scarce now since all of the animals have been eaten up and there is none left to reproduce, man has resorted to literally eating itself.

This is a horrible image in it's own right but the fact that in Sharma's future present in Rag & Bone that only the wealthy get the prime cuts? That's even more horrifying. Probably because it hits close to home. If this future were to occur? The wealthy would be the ones to get the choice cuts of meat. The lower and middle class citizens would be lucky to get the scraps. These wealthy and powerful cannibals are cleverly named The Peels. This quote from the story really makes my skin crawl and emphasizes the idea of the wealthy getting the best meat in town.

"The Peels keep people in tanks like fish, cutting off the bits they want."

The author could have chosen to actually show this horrific scene of events in greater detail, but instead went the more subtle route and that makes the story twice as effective. It allows the reader to use their imagination to fill in the blanks. The whole story is written in a very subtle tone. Which makes the gross subject matter have even more impact that it would if it was written as a blood and guts tale.

It even does a great job speaking to us about what it truly means to be human. Are we just nothing but flesh and bone? Is there more to us than that? In this future one's soul or talents is not important or valuable. The most valuable commodity is the flesh, making man and woman into nothing but pieces of meat ready for the slaughterhouse. The very idea of that is unsettling and this story pulls no punches with it's approach. Even in the scene where Tom our lead is attacked after his tryst with Sally, the way it is portrayed is not unlike a description of a cow being slaughtered. Jessup is stabbed in the neck, then he is hit over the head with a blunt object much like a cow would be, and then Tom even asks Sally to help him "Hold his legs." which is very similar to the slaughter of a cow as well.

Even the somber ending fits the story like a glove. Rag and Bone's future is a dystopian nightmare just like any other futuristic night terror but without the high tech skyscrapers and the feel good pills. This story is not bright in any way. There is no brightness to be found here and that really makes the piece stand out. The sense of overwhelming dread that permeates throughout the story is quite telling and sticks with you long after reading it.

Another great example of the rich feeding on the poor is the excellent underrated horror flick, Society(1989) directed by Brian Yuzna. Here is a peek at the film's unforgettable and disturbing ending.